Shhhh!!!!! Super Kitty Gets A Microchip!

I Knew I shouldn’t have come out from under the bed for those treats! What a rotten dirty trick! Everyone at the vet’s office is very nice but still… VET!!!!! Sigh, I don’t put up 1/10th the fight Makamae does. She puts her extra claws to good use.

I hear barking back there. Wish I didn’t eat the chicken off of Kea’we’s kibble this morning. I’m a cat that smells like delicious breast meat. Any dog I meet in the hall is going to lunge at me like I’m a s’more at a girl scout jamboree.

Hey! Hey up there! I haven’t gained weight; it’s just winter fur! I hate this carrier! It makes me look Fat!

I’m pretty cool here… until they put me on The Table. The table is cold and there’s nothing to sink my claws into. As soon as mom gets close I’ll latch onto her like she’s the last life preserver on the Titanic.

Ha, Ha, Ha, Oooh! That tickles! Darn right my ears are clean! I’m a very hygienic minded cat.

Doc! Doc! Is my heart OK? I sometimes get these palpitations when I watch Animal Planet and they show Gazelles escaping from my cousins! Oh, thank goodness I’m fine. I don’t smoke or chew tobacco and never drink alcohol. Heh, heh, heh – Shhhhh! I have my own little vices!

I just had my annual shots. They were a piece of cake. Actually our vet is so good I didn’t even feel them. Ask Comet, Makamae and Kea'we they’ll tell you the same thing. This needle can’t be for me, look at the size of it! It’s for a Rottweiler! I feel faint. What could be the purpose of a needle of that magnitude?

OH CRAP! A slap the forehead V-8 moment! I know! It’s for a microchip! I’m the only one of the fuzzies without a microchip. Mom and dad pick up a dozen lost dogs every year and half of them don’t have collars or microchips. It breaks mom’s heart. Mom’s never picked up a single lost cat that has had a microchip or ID. That breaks my heart. Mom and dad caught a wonderful kitty living in our bushes this spring and I was hoping for another sister but she didn’t like dogs at all. I’ll never understand speciesism if I live to be 200.

GULP!

Nowhere to run….

Wow a little pinch was all I felt. I love my Vet!
Look, I have a new tag. Lots of “bling…”

PART II



I Really, Really, didn’t want a Microchip though. Makamae says it’s a stupid myth, that I’m just a crazy conspiracy theorist, but I believe the government will be able to track me now that I have this chip. That’s not crazy is it? My friend Bali, she’s Siamese, she thinks her microchip makes her like specific cat food. In other words her microchip is controlled by Corporate Giants who manipulate her mind into an addiction to Blue Buffalo canned turducken with gravy. Have you ever heard anything so ridiculous? Government tracking we all know is real.

My problem now is what am I going to do about my Home Grown Maui Yeowie Catnip now that the Government knows my every move? I’ll have to plant it somewhere more discrete.

Before I dig this up I’ll take a little in to share with Makamae. When I harvest I always cover my face or the Catnip never makes it into the house. I won’t get anything done just rolling in the grass or racing up and down the maples. Wasn’t it just the other day I was saying I’d never have use for this blue shovel?

Oh shoot this isn’t a good spot. Once these peonies and Four O’Clock’s are weeded my catnip will be visible. Gee Whiz.

Yeah, right here between the weeds, jalapenos and the mulch my beloved ‘nip will be hidden. I’ll just have to take the chance that one of my Feral Friends will take a nibble. So be it. I’m cool. I’m going in now with the ‘nip I cut off for Makamae to enjoy.

“SK! Thanks so much Sis! I love catnip! Mind if I just dig right in? Oh Yum!”
Go right ahead Makamae. Careful though, it’s kind of strong!

“HOT DIGGITY!!!! I’M SOOOO STONED!”

Please get your pet Microchipped!
Special thanks to the excellent Veterinarians and Staff at Bostic Veterinary Hospital who have treated our animals with great kindness and gentleness and myself with great pet parent patience. The hospital sequence would not have been possible without their extra special giving. Mahalo nui! 
Bostic Veterinary Hospital 

Mom Has A New Pacemaker!

Mom’s old pacemaker ran out of battery juice and since they aren’t rechargeable she had to get a new one. I stole the old one to show everyone. Looks big on me but it’s really pretty small.

Hey look it says something on the back…. OMG!!! Finally confirmation for what I’ve suspected all along………………………


“NOT FOR HUMAN USE” So what is she? Part cat for sure, part canine whether I like it or not. Bet she’s an ALIEN!!!!! Shhh! I've heard they can hear around corners; I know mom can. And! She's psychic! She grabs Makamae before she even tries to dart out the door. I'm going to have to be soooo nice to her! Darn it anyway....

!!!!Men’s Archery Team Get’s Silver Medal!!!!! Yeah!!!

Congrats to the Men's 2012 Olympic Archery Team for a spectacular silver medal contest!! It was a real nail biter!

The Italians took Gold in a contest that ended with a score of 218 to 219. You don’t get any closer than that. Plus the Italian’s last shot was about 1/3” from being the next lower score. It was so close to being a shoot-off I thought mom was going to go rip up the carpet. Even I'm not allowed to do THAT! (She was a bit excited!)
Archery Rocks!  

Tractor Trouble

This old toy tractor looks kind of fun. I'll pretend I'm a farmer today.

La, la, la, Get your tractor runnin’ la, la, la, head out on the sidewalk la, la, la, heading for adventures la, la, la….. Vroom!

Mom planted peppers and tomatoes and more peppers.  She loves peppers. The tomatoes are growing like weeds. Some plants have ripe ones.

Oh wow! This is a blast!!! Wheeeee!!!

OOPS!

Well this was just a “Tragic Tractor Tomato Accident.” We shall never speak of this… In fact; Anyone out there willing to give me an alibi?

Happy Independence Day!

I was trying to write out the Declaration of Independence as a surprise for mom. These calligraphy pens are harder to use than you’d think though - I keep getting ink everywhere – but thankfully none on me. Mom would freak. You should have heard her when I asked if I could get a tattoo! Anyway I wanted to do this because mom said to me this morning that a lot of people have forgotten the real meaning behind the Fourth of July, just like so many other holidays. (Christmas isn’t really about getting gifts and seeing Santa, Easter isn’t just about baskets and candy.) Independence Day isn’t about setting off fireworks and drinking too much. Mom said it’s also not about waving our flag. Mom said if I’d read just a little of the Declaration of Independence I’d see that our founding fathers wrote an amazing document that not just declared our separation from Great Britain but eloquently established in our country a standard of tolerance and freedom unheard of in that time.It’s basically a letter to all of the people of Great Britain and the world but especially to King George III saying we’ve taken too much abuse; we’ll take no more. It lists King George’s offenses and at the very end includes the powers the undersigned give the then tiny government of ours. If you want to see the names of the signers look them up. You should. These people are important and it is thanks to them – not just to the many incredibly brave people in our military that you are here and free in the United States of America today.
Of course if the US does ever decide to have a Monarch again – it should be a cat – I’m available!
I’d look great with a crown.Queen Super Kitty the First. OK OK I was just trying it out.
Have a wonderful safe holiday!!! 
IN CONGRESS, July 4, 1776.
The unanimous Declaration of the thirteen united States of America,
When in the Course of human events, it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political bands which have connected them with another, and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature's God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation.
We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.--That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed, --That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness. Prudence, indeed, will dictate that Governments long established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and accordingly all experience hath shewn, that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable, than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed. But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such Government, and to provide new Guards for their future security.--Such has been the patient sufferance of these Colonies; and such is now the necessity which constrains them to alter their former Systems of Government. The history of the present King of Great Britain is a history of repeated injuries and usurpations, all having in direct object the establishment of an absolute Tyranny over these States. To prove this, let Facts be submitted to a candid world.

He has refused his Assent to Laws, the most wholesome and necessary for the public good.
He has forbidden his Governors to pass Laws of immediate and pressing importance, unless suspended in their operation till his Assent should be obtained; and when so suspended, he has utterly neglected to attend to them.
He has refused to pass other Laws for the accommodation of large districts of people, unless those people would relinquish the right of Representation in the Legislature, a right inestimable to them and formidable to tyrants only.
He has called together legislative bodies at places unusual, uncomfortable, and distant from the depository of their public Records, for the sole purpose of fatiguing them into compliance with his measures.
He has dissolved Representative Houses repeatedly, for opposing with manly firmness his invasions on the rights of the people.
He has refused for a long time, after such dissolutions, to cause others to be elected; whereby the Legislative powers, incapable of Annihilation, have returned to the People at large for their exercise; the State remaining in the mean time exposed to all the dangers of invasion from without, and convulsions within.
He has endeavoured to prevent the population of these States; for that purpose obstructing the Laws for Naturalization of Foreigners; refusing to pass others to encourage their migrations hither, and raising the conditions of new Appropriations of Lands.
He has obstructed the Administration of Justice, by refusing his Assent to Laws for establishing Judiciary powers.
He has made Judges dependent on his Will alone, for the tenure of their offices, and the amount and payment of their salaries.
He has erected a multitude of New Offices, and sent hither swarms of Officers to harrass our people, and eat out their substance.
He has kept among us, in times of peace, Standing Armies without the Consent of our legislatures.
He has affected to render the Military independent of and superior to the Civil power.
He has combined with others to subject us to a jurisdiction foreign to our constitution, and unacknowledged by our laws; giving his Assent to their Acts of pretended Legislation:
For Quartering large bodies of armed troops among us:
For protecting them, by a mock Trial, from punishment for any Murders which they should commit on the Inhabitants of these States:
For cutting off our Trade with all parts of the world:
For imposing Taxes on us without our Consent:
For depriving us in many cases, of the benefits of Trial by Jury:
For transporting us beyond Seas to be tried for pretended offences
For abolishing the free System of English Laws in a neighbouring Province, establishing therein an Arbitrary government, and enlarging its Boundaries so as to render it at once an example and fit instrument for introducing the same absolute rule into these Colonies:
For taking away our Charters, abolishing our most valuable Laws, and altering fundamentally the Forms of our Governments:
For suspending our own Legislatures, and declaring themselves invested with power to legislate for us in all cases whatsoever.
He has abdicated Government here, by declaring us out of his Protection and waging War against us.
He has plundered our seas, ravaged our Coasts, burnt our towns, and destroyed the lives of our people.
He is at this time transporting large Armies of foreign Mercenaries to compleat the works of death, desolation and tyranny, already begun with circumstances of Cruelty & perfidy scarcely paralleled in the most barbarous ages, and totally unworthy the Head of a civilized nation.
He has constrained our fellow Citizens taken Captive on the high Seas to bear Arms against their Country, to become the executioners of their friends and Brethren, or to fall themselves by their Hands.
He has excited domestic insurrections amongst us, and has endeavoured to bring on the inhabitants of our frontiers, the merciless Indian Savages, whose known rule of warfare, is an undistinguished destruction of all ages, sexes and conditions.

In every stage of these Oppressions We have Petitioned for Redress in the most humble terms: Our repeated Petitions have been answered only by repeated injury. A Prince whose character is thus marked by every act which may define a Tyrant, is unfit to be the ruler of a free people.
Nor have We been wanting in attentions to our Brittish brethren. We have warned them from time to time of attempts by their legislature to extend an unwarrantable jurisdiction over us. We have reminded them of the circumstances of our emigration and settlement here. We have appealed to their native justice and magnanimity, and we have conjured them by the ties of our common kindred to disavow these usurpations, which, would inevitably interrupt our connections and correspondence. They too have been deaf to the voice of justice and of consanguinity. We must, therefore, acquiesce in the necessity, which denounces our Separation, and hold them, as we hold the rest of mankind, Enemies in War, in Peace Friends.
We, therefore, the Representatives of the united States of America, in General Congress, Assembled, appealing to the Supreme Judge of the world for the rectitude of our intentions, do, in the Name, and by Authority of the good People of these Colonies, solemnly publish and declare, That these United Colonies are, and of Right ought to be Free and Independent States; that they are Absolved from all Allegiance to the British Crown, and that all political connection between them and the State of Great Britain, is and ought to be totally dissolved; and that as Free and Independent States, they have full Power to levy War, conclude Peace, contract Alliances, establish Commerce, and to do all other Acts and Things which Independent States may of right do. And for the support of this Declaration, with a firm reliance on the protection of divine Providence, we mutually pledge to each other our Lives, our Fortunes and our sacred Honor.
To Read online a better presentation with signatures go to: http://www.ushistory.org/declaration/document/ 

Mom’s Paws

 
Today I’d like to talk about Mom’s Paws. She’s  not here so I can say anything I want…. Her Paws Are Gigantic! Plus you humans have to know how it gives us furries the big eyes when we see your furless skin. It isn’t natural. Dad takes most of the fur off of his face and Mom takes all of the fur off of her legs. Brr, don’t human’s all know how much more attractive they’d be as a soft  Grey, Calico, Tortoise Shell or of course Orange Tabby?
 
People paws just aren’t as functional as our paws. We jump, climb, shred the couch – all in a days work! Our paws do fine. Ever hear humans walk barefoot? Hilarious! I wish I could imitate the sounds people make… Auwe! Auwe! Auwe!  Or Ow! Ow! Ow!  Just go to the beach on any hot sunny day and watch someone go across the sand barefoot. Their arms go up and they lift their legs extra high then they do a dance across the sand yelling “ooh’s”, “oowww’s”, and sometimes words Mom won’t let me say! I promise you’ll laugh ‘til your tummy hurts. Just look at Dad’s paws here, all tender.
 
As you can see Mom wears shoes out. If she likes them when they fall apart she puts them back together with Liquid Nails and clamps or Gorilla Glue. How do the make nails liquid anyway? And if they are liquid how do they hold stuff together? Wouldn’t screws work better?
Mom was mad at the Shoe Balance company because that gray pair of shoes was only worn 10 times when the side blew out during the Kona Marathon. What Mom needs is a Shoe Sponsor! So Companies like New Balance, Avia, or Rockridge can send applications to to my e-mail address….Oops, I don’t have one. Anyway they can contact me here. Companies like Jimmy Choo, Ferragamo  or Manolo need not apply! This is my best idea ever!!!

Here’s what I mean. Mom likes hiking shoes.           

Not these boots. Hey, I’m Puss In Boots! OK Boot. I need a sword! I find this kind of cozy myself.  

Mom has other shoes she likes to walk in, she loves these.
But she doesn’t ever wear this kind to go out hiking or walking. I’m not sure why. They sure look airy and cool.
Next time we have snow I’m going to pretend I’m sledding! Whee! Wheee!!!
OK , A sponsor would need Mom’s shoe size. I don’t understand shoe sizes. I think Mom wears a 38 um D. Uh Hmm, Oh maybe that is bra size. Hmm, yeah that is bra size but that is the size Dad wishes Mom’s bras were. Huh. Tonight when Dad leaves his laptop I’ll go on Amazon and add 38D’s to his “Wish List” Mom and Dad will be sooo proud of me!  Shoe sizes and Bra sizes are so similar. I wonder if women have something like that thing that measures their paws at the shoe store to measure their breasts. Do they buy bras by length and width? Mom likes a wide shoe. I wonder if they make a 38W.  I’m a free spirit, they will Never make me wear a bra!
 
I’m going to have to look at Mom’s shoes.
Wow, Mom wears Men’s shoes! That is OK, when no one is looking I eat dog food. It is yummy. Bonus it makes Kea’we mad! Oh, good times!


Told you she had HUGE PAWS! I’d better be nice to Mom she has paws like Godzilla! Ahhh, Screaming Army guys running as the great gray doom descends upon… Nothing can help you now…. Ahhhh!  Momzilla! Noooo!
Does anyone know…. Is this stuff really made out of Gorillas?

Mom just saw my post!!!! I’m in big trouble!!! 
Mom’s face is red and she is mumbling about “Yeah my feet are big, but I don’t have small breasts!”  Then something about a sea not being exactly a pancake. I'm confused and I don’t think I’ll be getting any treats tonight.