Shhhh!!!!! Super Kitty Gets A Microchip!

I Knew I shouldn’t have come out from under the bed for those treats! What a rotten dirty trick! Everyone at the vet’s office is very nice but still… VET!!!!! Sigh, I don’t put up 1/10th the fight Makamae does. She puts her extra claws to good use.

I hear barking back there. Wish I didn’t eat the chicken off of Kea’we’s kibble this morning. I’m a cat that smells like delicious breast meat. Any dog I meet in the hall is going to lunge at me like I’m a s’more at a girl scout jamboree.

Hey! Hey up there! I haven’t gained weight; it’s just winter fur! I hate this carrier! It makes me look Fat!

I’m pretty cool here… until they put me on The Table. The table is cold and there’s nothing to sink my claws into. As soon as mom gets close I’ll latch onto her like she’s the last life preserver on the Titanic.

Ha, Ha, Ha, Oooh! That tickles! Darn right my ears are clean! I’m a very hygienic minded cat.

Doc! Doc! Is my heart OK? I sometimes get these palpitations when I watch Animal Planet and they show Gazelles escaping from my cousins! Oh, thank goodness I’m fine. I don’t smoke or chew tobacco and never drink alcohol. Heh, heh, heh – Shhhhh! I have my own little vices!

I just had my annual shots. They were a piece of cake. Actually our vet is so good I didn’t even feel them. Ask Comet, Makamae and Kea'we they’ll tell you the same thing. This needle can’t be for me, look at the size of it! It’s for a Rottweiler! I feel faint. What could be the purpose of a needle of that magnitude?

OH CRAP! A slap the forehead V-8 moment! I know! It’s for a microchip! I’m the only one of the fuzzies without a microchip. Mom and dad pick up a dozen lost dogs every year and half of them don’t have collars or microchips. It breaks mom’s heart. Mom’s never picked up a single lost cat that has had a microchip or ID. That breaks my heart. Mom and dad caught a wonderful kitty living in our bushes this spring and I was hoping for another sister but she didn’t like dogs at all. I’ll never understand speciesism if I live to be 200.

GULP!

Nowhere to run….

Wow a little pinch was all I felt. I love my Vet!
Look, I have a new tag. Lots of “bling…”

PART II



I Really, Really, didn’t want a Microchip though. Makamae says it’s a stupid myth, that I’m just a crazy conspiracy theorist, but I believe the government will be able to track me now that I have this chip. That’s not crazy is it? My friend Bali, she’s Siamese, she thinks her microchip makes her like specific cat food. In other words her microchip is controlled by Corporate Giants who manipulate her mind into an addiction to Blue Buffalo canned turducken with gravy. Have you ever heard anything so ridiculous? Government tracking we all know is real.

My problem now is what am I going to do about my Home Grown Maui Yeowie Catnip now that the Government knows my every move? I’ll have to plant it somewhere more discrete.

Before I dig this up I’ll take a little in to share with Makamae. When I harvest I always cover my face or the Catnip never makes it into the house. I won’t get anything done just rolling in the grass or racing up and down the maples. Wasn’t it just the other day I was saying I’d never have use for this blue shovel?

Oh shoot this isn’t a good spot. Once these peonies and Four O’Clock’s are weeded my catnip will be visible. Gee Whiz.

Yeah, right here between the weeds, jalapenos and the mulch my beloved ‘nip will be hidden. I’ll just have to take the chance that one of my Feral Friends will take a nibble. So be it. I’m cool. I’m going in now with the ‘nip I cut off for Makamae to enjoy.

“SK! Thanks so much Sis! I love catnip! Mind if I just dig right in? Oh Yum!”
Go right ahead Makamae. Careful though, it’s kind of strong!

“HOT DIGGITY!!!! I’M SOOOO STONED!”

Please get your pet Microchipped!
Special thanks to the excellent Veterinarians and Staff at Bostic Veterinary Hospital who have treated our animals with great kindness and gentleness and myself with great pet parent patience. The hospital sequence would not have been possible without their extra special giving. Mahalo nui! 
Bostic Veterinary Hospital 

Mom Has A New Pacemaker!

Mom’s old pacemaker ran out of battery juice and since they aren’t rechargeable she had to get a new one. I stole the old one to show everyone. Looks big on me but it’s really pretty small.

Hey look it says something on the back…. OMG!!! Finally confirmation for what I’ve suspected all along………………………


“NOT FOR HUMAN USE” So what is she? Part cat for sure, part canine whether I like it or not. Bet she’s an ALIEN!!!!! Shhh! I've heard they can hear around corners; I know mom can. And! She's psychic! She grabs Makamae before she even tries to dart out the door. I'm going to have to be soooo nice to her! Darn it anyway....

!!!!Men’s Archery Team Get’s Silver Medal!!!!! Yeah!!!

Congrats to the Men's 2012 Olympic Archery Team for a spectacular silver medal contest!! It was a real nail biter!

The Italians took Gold in a contest that ended with a score of 218 to 219. You don’t get any closer than that. Plus the Italian’s last shot was about 1/3” from being the next lower score. It was so close to being a shoot-off I thought mom was going to go rip up the carpet. Even I'm not allowed to do THAT! (She was a bit excited!)
Archery Rocks!  

Tractor Trouble

This old toy tractor looks kind of fun. I'll pretend I'm a farmer today.

La, la, la, Get your tractor runnin’ la, la, la, head out on the sidewalk la, la, la, heading for adventures la, la, la….. Vroom!

Mom planted peppers and tomatoes and more peppers.  She loves peppers. The tomatoes are growing like weeds. Some plants have ripe ones.

Oh wow! This is a blast!!! Wheeeee!!!

OOPS!

Well this was just a “Tragic Tractor Tomato Accident.” We shall never speak of this… In fact; Anyone out there willing to give me an alibi?

Mom’s Paws

 
Today I’d like to talk about Mom’s Paws. She’s  not here so I can say anything I want…. Her Paws Are Gigantic! Plus you humans have to know how it gives us furries the big eyes when we see your furless skin. It isn’t natural. Dad takes most of the fur off of his face and Mom takes all of the fur off of her legs. Brr, don’t human’s all know how much more attractive they’d be as a soft  Grey, Calico, Tortoise Shell or of course Orange Tabby?
 
People paws just aren’t as functional as our paws. We jump, climb, shred the couch – all in a days work! Our paws do fine. Ever hear humans walk barefoot? Hilarious! I wish I could imitate the sounds people make… Auwe! Auwe! Auwe!  Or Ow! Ow! Ow!  Just go to the beach on any hot sunny day and watch someone go across the sand barefoot. Their arms go up and they lift their legs extra high then they do a dance across the sand yelling “ooh’s”, “oowww’s”, and sometimes words Mom won’t let me say! I promise you’ll laugh ‘til your tummy hurts. Just look at Dad’s paws here, all tender.
 
As you can see Mom wears shoes out. If she likes them when they fall apart she puts them back together with Liquid Nails and clamps or Gorilla Glue. How do the make nails liquid anyway? And if they are liquid how do they hold stuff together? Wouldn’t screws work better?
Mom was mad at the Shoe Balance company because that gray pair of shoes was only worn 10 times when the side blew out during the Kona Marathon. What Mom needs is a Shoe Sponsor! So Companies like New Balance, Avia, or Rockridge can send applications to to my e-mail address….Oops, I don’t have one. Anyway they can contact me here. Companies like Jimmy Choo, Ferragamo  or Manolo need not apply! This is my best idea ever!!!

Here’s what I mean. Mom likes hiking shoes.           

Not these boots. Hey, I’m Puss In Boots! OK Boot. I need a sword! I find this kind of cozy myself.  

Mom has other shoes she likes to walk in, she loves these.
But she doesn’t ever wear this kind to go out hiking or walking. I’m not sure why. They sure look airy and cool.
Next time we have snow I’m going to pretend I’m sledding! Whee! Wheee!!!
OK , A sponsor would need Mom’s shoe size. I don’t understand shoe sizes. I think Mom wears a 38 um D. Uh Hmm, Oh maybe that is bra size. Hmm, yeah that is bra size but that is the size Dad wishes Mom’s bras were. Huh. Tonight when Dad leaves his laptop I’ll go on Amazon and add 38D’s to his “Wish List” Mom and Dad will be sooo proud of me!  Shoe sizes and Bra sizes are so similar. I wonder if women have something like that thing that measures their paws at the shoe store to measure their breasts. Do they buy bras by length and width? Mom likes a wide shoe. I wonder if they make a 38W.  I’m a free spirit, they will Never make me wear a bra!
 
I’m going to have to look at Mom’s shoes.
Wow, Mom wears Men’s shoes! That is OK, when no one is looking I eat dog food. It is yummy. Bonus it makes Kea’we mad! Oh, good times!


Told you she had HUGE PAWS! I’d better be nice to Mom she has paws like Godzilla! Ahhh, Screaming Army guys running as the great gray doom descends upon… Nothing can help you now…. Ahhhh!  Momzilla! Noooo!
Does anyone know…. Is this stuff really made out of Gorillas?

Mom just saw my post!!!! I’m in big trouble!!! 
Mom’s face is red and she is mumbling about “Yeah my feet are big, but I don’t have small breasts!”  Then something about a sea not being exactly a pancake. I'm confused and I don’t think I’ll be getting any treats tonight.

"We're going hiking in Volcano National Park. It's the Best park ever. It's like going back to when the Earth was created. It's a Geological Wonderland!"