Saturday, February 2, 2013

Shhhh!!!!! Super Kitty Gets A Microchip!

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I Knew I shouldn’t have come out from under the bed for those treats! What a rotten dirty trick! Everyone at the vet’s office is very nice but still… VET!!!!! Sigh, I don’t put up 1/10th the fight Makamae does. She puts her extra claws to good use.
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I hear barking back there. Wish I didn’t eat the chicken off of Kea’we’s kibble this morning. I’m a cat that smells like delicious breast meat. Any dog I meet in the hall is going to lunge at me like I’m a s’more at a girl scout jamboree.
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Hey! Hey up there! I haven’t gained weight; it’s just winter fur! I hate this carrier! It makes me look Fat!
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I’m pretty cool here… until they put me on The Table. The table is cold and there’s nothing to sink my claws into. As soon as mom gets close I’ll latch onto her like she’s the last life preserver on the Titanic.
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Ha, Ha, Ha, Oooh! That tickles! Darn right my ears are clean! I’m a very hygienic minded cat.
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Doc! Doc! Is my heart OK? I sometimes get these palpitations when I watch Animal Planet and they show Gazelles escaping from my cousins! Oh, thank goodness I’m fine. I don’t smoke or chew tobacco and never drink alcohol. Heh, heh, heh – Shhhhh! I have my own little vices!
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I just had my annual shots. They were a piece of cake. Actually our vet is so good I didn’t even feel them. Ask Comet, Makamae and Kea'we they’ll tell you the same thing. This needle can’t be for me, look at the size of it! It’s for a Rottweiler! I feel faint. What could be the purpose of a needle of that magnitude?
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OH CRAP! A slap the forehead V-8 moment! I know! It’s for a microchip! I’m the only one of the fuzzies without a microchip. Mom and dad pick up a dozen lost dogs every year and half of them don’t have collars or microchips. It breaks mom’s heart. Mom’s never picked up a single lost cat that has had a microchip or ID. That breaks my heart. Mom and dad caught a wonderful kitty living in our bushes this spring and I was hoping for another sister but she didn’t like dogs at all. I’ll never understand speciesism if I live to be 200.
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GULP!
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Nowhere to run….
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Wow a little pinch was all I felt. I love my Vet! IMG_9482CROPPED14
Look, I have a new tag. Lots of “bling…”

PART II

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I Really, Really, didn’t want a Microchip though. Makamae says it’s a stupid myth, that I’m just a crazy conspiracy theorist, but I believe the government will be able to track me now that I have this chip. That’s not crazy is it? My friend Bali, she’s Siamese, she thinks her microchip makes her like specific cat food. In other words her microchip is controlled by Corporate Giants who manipulate her mind into an addiction to Blue Buffalo canned turducken with gravy. Have you ever heard anything so ridiculous? Government tracking we all know is real.
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My problem now is what am I going to do about my Home Grown Maui Yeowie Catnip now that the Government knows my every move? I’ll have to plant it somewhere more discrete.
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Before I dig this up I’ll take a little in to share with Makamae. When I harvest I always cover my face or the Catnip never makes it into the house. I won’t get anything done just rolling in the grass or racing up and down the maples. Wasn’t it just the other day I was saying I’d never have use for this blue shovel?
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Oh shoot this isn’t a good spot. Once these peonies and Four O’Clock’s are weeded my catnip will be visible. Gee Whiz.
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Yeah, right here between the weeds, jalapenos and the mulch my beloved ‘nip will be hidden. I’ll just have to take the chance that one of my Feral Friends will take a nibble. So be it. I’m cool. I’m going in now with the ‘nip I cut off for Makamae to enjoy.
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“SK! Thanks so much Sis! I love catnip! Mind if I just dig right in? Oh Yum!”
Go right ahead Makamae. Careful though, it’s kind of strong!
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“HOT DIGGITY!!!! I’M SOOOO STONED!”
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Please get your pet Microchipped!
Special thanks to the excellent Veterinarians and Staff at Bostic Veterinary Hospital who have treated our animals with great kindness and gentleness and myself with great pet parent patience. The hospital sequence would not have been possible without their extra special giving. Mahalo nui! 
Bostic Veterinary Hospital